Purpose of my life
I
have chosen the belief that all living creatures or entities have a purpose to
fulfil and a way to fulfil it that is uniquely their own. Most living
creatures live naturally according to that purpose. Partly in creation of the
values they express, through living the kind of life they do, and partly by fulfilling
these values. In the human historical
framework I live in today, I have been taught that animals as an example are
not as creative as humans are, and they just live by instincts; but even though
they might not deal with symbols, like words, as we do, they deal directly with
emotional realities that is just as much a language and a creative possibility
(or even more so), than human language is. Humans have also access to these
emotional realities and the creative possibilities of these realities, and the
values we try to express by living our personal lives are also based on these
emotional realities, and words and other rational symbols just acts like a way
of putting the values of emotion into a reproducible structure in a certain
framework of time and space.
Finding
ones own path in a framework of words and societal norms or values can in my
experience be quite difficult. At least it has been for me, because I learned
through my upbringing and school experience to put labels on what I would do
with my life. The question: ‘what will you be when you grow up?’ is a question
that a lot of us have heard and tried to answer in childhood, but the question
that I would like to have as a child would be something like: ‘what emotional
values would you like to cultivate now and express in your adult life, and how
would you do it?’ Well if you asked a child of today that question the child
would probably have no clue what so ever how to answer the question. But with
proper guidance a child might answer that it wants to cultivate relieve and
safety and he or she could do that by saving lives and property as a fireman or
whatever options there might be. If I had gotten the upbringing that taught me
to take emotional values and their fulfilment into account I might have
answered: ‘I want to cultivate the values of love, joy and deep inner peace and
I want to do it by helping people to grow into fulfillment of their values by
what ever creative measures it will take, and I want to do that through magic,
my presence and creating art.
But
since I did not learn to express my emotional values in my childhood I was only
vaguely aware of my purpose. Throughout my life I was even so pointed in the
direction of fulfilment through my extensive interest in magic and personal
development, painting, music and figuring out how the world was through the
theories of natural science especially physics. In my life I have been on a lot
of roads in the educational system that mostly led to a structure of thoughts I
couldn’t breathe in and I also ended up getting a lot of stress because my
emotional values wasn’t fulfilled. The last road I was on to try to fit into
what I perceive as the societal frame in Denmark I was trying the educational
road of philosophy at the university of Copenhagen. The first year went fine. I
had chosen to begin the education to learn to write better, in order to write
down some of these rather abstract thoughts I often have on how the world
works. When I started my second year where I also tried to finish a course in
probability math, I ended up with a severe cough that lasted for many months
and stopped me from going to lectures. In that period I returned to my more
creative work. Singing and playing music. Writing on a science fiction novel I
had begun years before and so forth. I also began to listen to and follow my
intuition, which only kept telling me that all I had to do was being creative
and gather some energy. So I did that and after 6 months with this situation I
finally had my purpose in life revealed, and here is what I wrote on that
revelation:
May 4. An epiphany
Last night i had an epiphany. I had trouble breathing because of a real
bad idea that nobody really cared for me as me, meaning that I didn’t feel
supported in my purpose of life, which I by the way had only a slight idea what
was. I knew it is something with magic but I have a tendency to try to put it
under my control; to hold on to good things. The problem of holding on to good
things whether it is thought or feeling is that holding on to anything,
stagnate the energy, and when energy is frozen, life stops flowing and the good
things end up being not so good.
Anyway; I was trying to meditate my self in to a normal breathing,
using the gold foliage energy from the day before, and eventually had to lie
down and try to get some sleep. While lying down, images of a Japanese or
Chinese temple of the Gods started to appear around me, and a God with a lot of
arms greeted me. I asked for healing because I really do not want to die and I
was a little anxious at the time, and at the same time enjoying the joke I was
playing on my self. The God asked me why I wanted to be healed, and I said that
I was committed to take care of my son, he needed my guidance and my love, and
I also had a purpose to fulfil by living. The God told me that my purpose was
to create inner peace and a ground from which creation could flow unimpeded or helping
others to fulfil their creative purpose. The God didn’t really use words to
tell me that but shoved me a picture of a peaceful garden in golden sunlight
and a feeling that the plants and flowers in it was somehow helped to grow and
be strong by my presence or energy. Then I was led to the greenery behind the
temple. It was rather beautiful and really tight or rather compressed, like the
space in the atoms where filled out with other possibilities for growth of the
greenery. I kept that picture in my mind as I went in to a small marketplace
pavilion in the middle of the temple yard, and there a black snake were pulled
from my chest.
During the epiphany I seemed to be shifting between my sofa and the
temple.
Shortly thereafter I fell asleep from both worlds and woke up refreshed
and well only with the aftermath of a normal cold to deal with, as far as my
breathing was concerned. Not that breathing can be concerned.
Sensing energy in a new way
Since
I had this epiphany that revealed the purpose of my life, I have learned more
during meditation about that purpose. Some of the experiences I am having are
energetic. In a meditative state and even in dreams I have begun to work
directly with the emotional states as energy. It is as if I sense the states
directly as energies merging, whirling around and sometimes counter acting or
blocking each others. It is not that is see or hear, feel or smell the
energies, it is more a direct sensing of it that do not need to be translated
in to representations of the ordinary 5 senses. The sense impression that best
describes this experience is like sensing the energy with the inside of the
brain like everything in the brain was a centre for sensing energies.
One
of the things I’ve got revealed is that one of the things that really stops the
free flow of energy towards fulfilment is a demand on productivity. In my
understanding of the historical frame work of today, one of the main beliefs is
that you have to be productive, to produce results. A lot of coaches on the
internet are telling us to set up a goal for what you want to have or create
and then make a lot of steps towards it. Whenever I start thinking like this I
tend to go into a state of stress, where I am actually not able to do anything
to work on these goals. Living to fulfil my purpose basically only involves my
presence in life and when I write I just have to pay attention to the
experience of what I want to share, the process of writing and that every
natural growth takes exactly the time and space it needs. You send energy (sun,
water, earth, air and electricity) to whatever creation you are helping to grow,
and thereby giving it the best possible circumstances of growth. Adding your
will to a faster process of growth to fulfill the demand of productivity is
only crippling the creation, so the result is not as filled with life as it
could be. With the purpose of growth it is therefore a great idea for me to
follow intuition which shows us the way to the most vibrant energetic states. A
creation can be an idea, and the manifestation of it in the physical bandwidth
of consciousness is a seeding process, and helping it grow, is you, creating
the time, space and energy flow for that specific idea, and seeding the idea in
other peoples mind by sharing it with whatever creative or communicative means possible.
Finding a path to value fulfilment
Growth
is for me a purpose with the aim of fulfilling the intrinsic value of life,
whether it is life in the physical, mental or spiritual bandwidths of mind or
whatever bandwidths there might be. Growth as a purpose, seek to provide the
energy and the framework for fulfillment of everything alive. Whether it is
creatures or ideas they all need room and energy to grow. Energy is abundant and
conscious and is in it self also something that grows, so from the world view
‘everything is energy’ well all that really grows is just the energy, no matter
what form it takes. One of the impediments to the growth of this energy no
matter what forms it takes, is that some forms stops the energy from growing in
another energy form. So part of my purpose is also the transformation of the things
that stops other growths, in the sense that when ever the flow and growth of
energy is stopped whatever is stopping it, must either be transformed into
something that gives room for other growths. I might also help the energy to
find a way around what stops the growth.
As
an example: imagine that you own the belief ‘you have to have an ordinary job
to support your self’, whilst you really want to write books about other world
views. Well this is a situation I have been in for a long time. What happened
was that I kept trying to do something I thought there was no energy in to get
energy in the form of money to support my self, on the expense of my real work,
working for growth in a magical way. I kept founding my self in a state of
anxiety, whether I was in a job or was searching for one. And I wasn’t really a
productive member of society in most of my life. Focusing on jobs I didn’t care
about took my focus away from what my intuition and higher self tried to tell
me through impulses and passions. At some point I suddenly saw the demands I
believed society had in a different way. My whole life I had seen society as
something that you were in and that you couldn’t escape from unless you wanted
to live the life of a hermit. I love people so even though I love being alone
as well I would not like to be completely without people. What recently occurred
to me, was that society is a joint creation of many minds and it is made to
protect some values. Especially the value: human life. The funny thing is that
what society is doing is protecting us against each other but even so society
is the idea that we must have some rules to actually make sure that some ones
life or physical creation (property) is not stopped by another human energy
form. So in that sense society actually also tries to fulfill on my purpose.
But the problem is that when society becomes more important than the values it
tries to protect then it becomes something that stops growth, instead of
holding un to the believe that life and growth is what is of value. The
transformation of my earlier belief in society had me finally accept society
and at the same had me accept that it was totally okay to allow my self the
freedom of following my own path. Society can’t really demand anything of us,
but we can impact society by what we choose to do. I don not want to live with
a society that holds any power over me, but I do want to live in a world of
peace and freedom, and I can do that by not making war or seeking to take
control over others, and society is an agreement with other people that they
are not trying to make war or control me.
I
do not get why people when the have an endless possibility to create exactly
the life the want for them selves try to take control over others. I mean do
they feel so powerless? The only way to be powerless is to not follow your own
energy and go against your self, your purpose and whatever in order to hold
onto something.
Holding
onto something is something that the intellect and its child the Ego are good
at. This is what create time and space as we know it. But let’s not forget that
forms are ever changing and no moment is ever the same, the only thing where
there might be the same is in our minds.
I also aim to fulfil love, beauty, joy,
connectedness and peace with this purpose as the energetic states I use to have
things grow in. There are so many ways to work on my purpose and one of them is
making a magical work model for the mind. Another way is my creative work,
music, painting and writing stories. Ideas that comes to live in some way, and
sometimes just as dreams I recall. Conversations with other people can also be
ideas that come to live, as ideas often evolve in the minds when shared. The
energetic states, alongside the ideas, also evolve and grow.
Now
I know my purpose and my values. And I know how to fulfil that purpose. A
purpose it not some goal you work on and some day you will reach that goal. In
the purpose of growth you won’t some day be in the situation that no more
growth is possible so it is something you can do your whole life. Some people
might have the purpose of nurturing others, and as long as there are people or
other beings they can keep doing it while fulfilling the values of love and
life.
How to find a purpose
If
you haven’t found your purpose yet here are some ways of doing it:
1. Ask your
higher self in a meditative state and try to interpret what comes in.
2. Ask a God if
you believe in God or Gods.
3. Look back on
your life and see if there is anything you always have been passionate about.
Things you’ve always wanted to do. Subject you have returned to over and over
again in your life from sheer interest.
4. Look at your
values and try to make a creative picture of how you fulfil on them, what will
you be doing in order to fulfil those values.
5. Follow your
intuitions and impulses of what you want to do.
Number
one can actually be used to get an answer to all kinds of questions. The higher
self is you but you with a larger focus than the ordinary personality you tend
to connect with your physical body. It is like having a zoom function of mind. Where
you can focus your consciousness to a single point or zoom out to cover the
whole universe where everything becomes part of you, and where your normal
personality is only one of endless numbers. The higher self is somewhere in the
middle of these two extremities. It has both knowledge of your personality but
also all the personalities you could be if you’d made other choices, and for
the higher self they all exist equal to that portion of you. It is aware of
every path you can take, and where the energy flow is greatest in whatever time
line, you might follow. It speaks to us through intuition, dreams, ideas and
events. It is as much who we are as the personality, just from another focus.
Number
2 was what I did even though I do not believe in Gods, but I will interpret
Gods as my self seen from a creative perspective. The fact that the God I met
had many arms I will interpret as a God with a large potential for action.
Number
3 is a rational method. You use empiric data from your own memories, and most
people of today is well trained in doing so. Some people might discover that
they haven’t really been passionate about anything or having some specific
interests, but always did what other wanted them to do. That kind of behavior
could be an expression of fear but it could also reveal trying to fulfill the
value of connectedness, and the purpose of creating communities.
Number
4 is a method where you’re trying to create an idea rather than trying to find
knowledge that already exists. As an example, if you know which values you want
to fulfill in your life, you can focus on the values lets take joy. So you’re
now focusing on joy and see how joy is spread from you to the people around
you, and then you might find out that your purpose is entertainment.
Number
5 is a little difficult because only a few of us have learned to use our
intuitions in the societal framework of today. But if you have practiced on
listening to your intuition then you can do it, following the impulses and look
at what happens and the situations you find your self in.
This
is just my idea of purpose, and some might not have the need for one.
Personally I believe it is great to have a path. It is like having a channel
where energy can flow instead of just running around and try to avoid the
unwanted things and hold on to the good stuff.
